Social Media: Time for Spring Cleaning

**This was originally written on May 18, 2022**

With the last few batches of news cycles, I have decided to do some spring cleaning on all of the social media platforms I use. I have decided to unfollow a lot of profiles for politicians, businesses, influencers, and even some family members. It was time that I do this for my own sanity. Social media was created for people to connect, share information and pictures, and really to be entertainment. It shouldn’t cause stress or an existential crisis every single time you open an app.

Finally, I wanted to clean up my feed a little bit more so that I am consuming entertainment that is glorifying God better. We are what we consume. This goes so much farther than just what we eat.

The Final Straw

I have been struggling with social media for a long time. I have wanted to delete every single account for a while because each platform was causing me so much stress. But, Facebook is the only way I see any updates from extended family and I want to stay somewhat connected to them. Instagram and Twitter are useful tools for me and are helping grow my blog. So, deleting those accounts would not be beneficial for me either. I must admit that TikTok is just super entertaining for me. So, for quite some time I have been just sitting and wincing every time I see something I dislike on my feeds.

But, with the news cycles devoted to the abortion debate, I finally realized that I could actually take control over what goes on the feed of all of my social media platforms. I was so tired of seeing people post on the topic and they have no idea what they are talking about. I couldn’t take seeing people argue that unborn babies are not human and scream that Christians and conservatives want to criminalize women who suffer through the trauma of miscarriage.

Not a Blocker

Historically, I am not someone who outright blocks people. However I have had to do so on certain situations. There was a family friend that I had to block because she always had something critical or hateful to say on absolutely everything I would post. I have also blocked a cousin for a very similar situation. She was also involved in an effort to alienate my parents and me from my grandparents and extended family. It was awful.

I also don’t outright block a lot of people on other platforms. Usually, I will try to mute individuals. If I don’t see their notifications, then I don’t know what they are saying and it just keeps me from getting upset about anything they might have to say. If even after muting them they still are some kind of nuisance, they get blocked.

On Facebook, I generally will at most unfollow someone. I will still be connected to them as a friend, but their posts don’t show up on my feed anymore. That has helped ease some frustrations I have gotten by looking at things family members post. However, lately, I have unfriended a few people.

Again, what is going on lately has made me prioritize myself, what I consume and my mental health more.

Cleaning House

On Platforms like Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok, I decided to reduce the number of accounts I follow. I have never been the type of person to follow a person back simply because they followed me. I usually follow people when they post things that are of interest to me. There have been several people that I have become friends with through these platforms, but that was through engagement with each other. Not just because we instantly followed each other for whatever reason.

I used to follow all kinds of companies, influencers and politicians just to keep up to date with things going on in the world. At first, I just unfollowed accounts I had no engagement with. Instagram made that very easy for me. It showed the 50 least engaged accounts, so I just unfollowed those. I also looked through who I was following on Twitter. If I know I haven’t seen any of their content in a while, I would unfollow.

TikTok

TikTok is a different kind of platform. I have people that I follow. However, I just scroll through my “for you page”. TikTok runs on a very smart algorithm. I get a chuckle when I hear people say that it is nothing more than a porn site. If you like or interact with a post, the algorithm will show you more videos like the ones you have previously engaged with. So, if you hate comment someone for having a different view from your own, you will see more videos just like that. Or, if you’re engaging in videos more on the thirst trap side, you will get more videos like that. People who complain it is a porn site are outing themselves on what they are engaging in.

My TikTok feed is filled with cute dog videos, Christian and Theological lessons, and cooking videos. I have also learned a lot about politics on this platform. People aren’t censored in the same way as other platforms. They have been able to post information that I have been able to look up myself and verify. It’s been really great.

The security concerns with the application is a whole other discussion. But, the platform is still really easy to use and has endless opportunities to interact with like-minded people.

Facebook

Facebook is a very personal kind of social media platform. I still have the original account I started in college. At that time, it was still mostly meant for college age kids and was by invite only. I was invited to join by a friend I knew when my family was stationed in Germany. He was active duty at the time and sent me an invite and I thought it would be interesting to get back in contact with other friends from previous duty stations. He has since deleted his account and doesn’t really talk to anyone from that time anymore. Up until recently, I didn’t really understand why. But, yeah, now I get it.

Facebook is the platform that I use to keep in contact with people I know in real life. These are family members and close friends. This is where I get some of the worst heartache because I have true personal connections with most of the people I am friends with on the platform.

It has caused a lot of heated discussions which then can put a wedge between you and that family member(s). Even though you know someone personally on the site, with it being online rather than in person, people are more comfortable to say mean things and that certainly does not help the situation.

Unfriending

Like I have said before, I try to not unfriend or block people on Facebook because these are people I have more personal relationships with. But with the latest round of spring cleaning I did, I ended up unfriending a few people. Several of them were people I went to high school with. I haven’t seen them since graduation day and haven’t had an actual conversation with them for years. Another was a family member who consistently posts about topics that instantly makes my blood boil. I had to completely remove them from my feed before I said anything that would cause drama throughout the entire family. I already feel like a black sheep in the family. So, I don’t need to do anything to make it worse.

So, in order to keep peace within the family and to maintain the relationship we have, it is better that we don’t interact at all online. It will make family gatherings a lot less tense. Also, I do not start talking about controversial topics. But, I will absolutely share my opinion on the matter if it comes up. Unfriending has nothing to do with my ability to support my arguments. It is purely to maintain the peace.

Grounds for Unfollowing

Each person can have different reasons to unfollow an account on social media. For me, I refuse to follow or support a brand or influencer, or person that preaches support for anything that goes against my personal beliefs. These topics include but aren’t limited to anything pro-abortion, pro-critical race theory, pro-racism, antisemitism, Christian bashing, hate for anyone who is different, etc. I am a Christian and disagree with those who live LGBTQ lifestyles. But, I will not follow someone who posts hate-filled messages about those people. I will not follow accounts that glorify or glamorize those lifestyles either.

Recently, Elf Cosmetics came out with a post on all of their social media accounts that shared that they are angry at the idea of Roe v Wade being overturned and believe women have the right to kill their babies on demand for any reason. So, I unfollowed them. I also will no longer spend any of my money on their products. Yes, it is getting hard to be consistent with brands I support or not. There are so few out there that have the same views as I do. But, I try my best.

That family member I unfriended on Facebook posted a “meme” about abortion that mocked the Bible and I could not deal with that. I had a whole huge rant all typed up about how wrong that post was. But, instead of posting in anger, I disconnected from them. In my opinion, my anger was righteous, but my response was not going to get the right attention and cause more problems than help.

No Guilt

I would feel guilty for disconnecting from people on social media. Even with people I don’t engage with often. Even those big companies who don’t even know who I am. But, I realized that keeping my social media feeds filled with discussions that go against my beliefs cause a lot of stress in my life. I don’t care what other people say, I just don’t want to see it all the time on a platform that is really supposed to be for entertainment before anything else. Having my feed open to those discussions also led to seeing a lot of hate filled people.

Limiting my social media feeds has limited the amount of hate I see and it has made a world of difference for my mental health. It has also allowed me to disconnect from social media more easily. If I am less angry from social media posts, then I am more likely to put my phone down for a while.

But What About Echo Chambers?

There are some people who would ask if I have created an echo chamber on my social media feeds. Not everyone wants that for their feeds and I understand that. Yes, I do not follow people who post in support of certain topics. However, I still follow people I disagree with. I simply have boundaries of what I will and won’t allow on my personal feed. I don’t follow a single person who has the exact same beliefs as I do.

If I am motivated to look at other opinions, I can always do a keyword search on any platform out there. Often times though, I can see the other side’s opinion from something a mutual has re-posted with their own commentary.

Not Censoring Speech

Notice how I talk about MY feed or MY money. I am not screaming that these people I disagree with should be silenced. They can say whatever they want within the boundaries of the law. But, I still get to decide whether I allow it on my feed or not. This is why there are follow buttons on these social media platforms. This is also why each person has the ability to block or mute accounts or certain topics too.

People have the freedom to say whatever they want. Companies have the right to support whatever cause they want as well. But, they aren’t free from the consequences from what they say or support. That goes for me as well for making a post like this. Not everyone will like this and that is okay. But the good news is that I get to approve any comment on this site because I own this site. I also can block anyone on other platforms who make hateful statements about me. Blocking is just so that I don’t have to see it.

A line is crossed if threats are made. I have not had to deal with that before. But if I ever do get threats, I will make the appropriate steps to ensure my safety and the safety of my family. I would expect anyone else to do the same.

Is it Time to Clean Out Your Feed?

Have you been wondering whether it is time to clean out the feed on your social media accounts? My answer would be yes. Something is clearly bothering you if you are questioning whether you need to or not. Taking a look at who you see on your feed could be a good start before you go so far as to deactivate your accounts.

However, if your social media usage is causing a lot of stress, it might be time to take a break from it completely for a while. You will know what is right for you.

Questions to Ask

You can ask yourself questions when you are looking at who you are following on social media. This is what I asked myself when I did my spring cleaning:

• Do I engage with this account?

  • If so, how often?

  • If not, how long has it been since I engaged with them?

• Does this account cause me stress?

  • If yes, then is the stress worth it?

  • Is the stress helping make me a better person?

• When was the last time I talked with this person?

  • Liking a post is not talking with them.

• Does this content make me a better person?

  • Is this content helping me or hurting me in my journey?

  • Is this glorifying ideals that go against my beliefs?

  • Does this go against the word of God?

You Are in Control

Remember, when it comes to your social media feed, you are in control of what you see. Yes, people associate with will repost things that you may not like. But a vast majority of the content on your feed is there because of how YOU use each social media platform. If you don’t like the content of a particular account, you can unfollow them. If you don’t follow them, there are options on each platform that you can take advantage of to make sure their content isn’t seen on your feed. You just have to put a little effort into it.

What If It Hurts Someone’s Feelings?

I used to worry that close friends or family would get their feelings hurt if I were to unfriend them and they realize it. I dreaded the idea of getting a message from someone asking if they did something wrong and ask why I no longer wished to be connected to them. But, once I realized that I am the one in control of my feed and what I see, I no longer care.

If I ever get that message, I will not purposefully be mean to them. I will just let them know that I had been seeing a lot of content that I didn’t like lately and I wanted to keep from seeing it. And it isn’t personal, I just need to do what is right for me. I might have to restrain myself some if they push to know exactly why I don’t want to be connected to them anymore. If they keep pushing, I will want to tell them exactly what it was that made me disconnect and why I disagree. Again, I won’t intend to be mean. But it won’t sound very kind. If I don’t do that, I will just have to completely block them to avoid anymore tension.

But, I can only control my actions and my emotions. I cannot worry about another’s feelings when I am simply disconnecting on a social media platform. If it effects them that much, they need to reflect on themselves and ask why. That is a journey they will have to have on their own.

Conclusion

It has only been a week or so since I did a huge sweep through all of my social media accounts. But, I have noticed a difference in how social media affects me. I also am not on my phone as much. With a slower, kinder feed, I am able to disconnect a lot more easily. The realization that I am in charge of what I consume on social media has been a great help. I would highly recommend everyone do the same for their own feeds. You never know just how much it can help!