Introducing Abby

The Pup Who Healed Our Hearts

Since my last update, we unfortunately had to say goodbye to our Maltese, Roky. It was a hard decision, but we had to help him cross the rainbow bridge. He had cancer and had lost so much weight and he was starting to become miserable. It wasn’t fair to keep him going any longer. We said goodbye on August 25th.

The whole family was there and I held him as he crossed. It was a sad day, but we all know we did the right thing. I was 17 when we brough Roky home. He was there through so many major life events for me. He was my first heart dog because of that.

When he was in his last days and a couple of days after he passed, we all agreed that we would wait a good amount of time before even thinking to adopt again. Well, that lasted about 2 weeks. It isn’t that we didn’t miss Roky. We also know that we will never be able to replace him. But, the house felt completely empty without a furry face running around. We all felt that emptiness and we knew we were ready to rescue another.

We also dealt with anticipatory grief before he even passed away. This is something very common when dealing with chronic illness. It doesn’t make things easier; just different.

Scrolling PetFinder

About 10 days after Roky passed, I got the wild hair to look at PetFinder just to see what was available out there. I was curious if there were a lot of puppies, or older dogs. We found Bexar through PetFinder, so I knew it was a legit way to start looking for the next furbaby. I did expect to see anyone that I thought we needed so quickly. I came across a pair of Cairn Terrier puppies and fell in love. I sent photos to my husband and my parents. They were smitten too.

Unfortunately, they were adopted really quickly. We were disappointed. But that gave us an opportunity to talk seriously about whether we were really ready or just wanting a pup for the sake of it. We all agreed that we were ready.

So, I kept looking through PetFinder and found several available pups with a local rescue and saw that they were going to have an adoption event the following weekend. So, we got up really early and made the drive into the city to be at the event right when it started.

The Adoption Event

We get to the Adoption event just as it was starting. A big ol’ happy face greeted us as we walked up and my mom was instanlty smitten with him. But he was a BIG boy. My husband and I did some more walking around to meet different dogs. One I had my eye on was a beautiful cattle dog. But with her history, she was very timid and I knew that our house would have been too much for her. I walked around and saw a pen with 3 collie puppies. I asked about them and the volunteer said that they were all spoken for. I was disappointed because they were so cute!

We walked around a little bit more and I just didn’t find anyone else that seemed to be a good fit for us. Then, I saw my mom by the pen with the collies talking with the volunteer. I went to tell her that they were all spoken for. But the volunteer then said, no, this one is still available. That’s when my mom asked to hold her.

That pup instantly nuzzled up to my mom and was so sweet. She handed her over to me and she did the same thing with me and I lost it. I started crying like a baby. That’s when my husband said that he thinks we found our new baby. We didn’t let her go the rest of the time we were there.

My parents fell hard for the big boy and decided that he was going home with us too. It took about two hours to fill out the applications and get everything lined up for the pups. We ended up changing both of their names. The little girl was named Happy, but we changed it to Abby. The big boy was Dipper and we renamed him Duke.

The First Few Days

On the way home from the adoption event with the new pups, we had to head to Petsmart for supplies because we really weren’t expecting to bring anyone home. They both seemed to relaxed and happy on that car ride. They knew they were safe and in a good place.

Then, it hit us that we had brought in TWO new puppies of different breeds and sizes and that we are in for a lot of chaos. From the beginning, we agreed that hubby and I would be the primarey caretakers of Abby and my parents for Duke.

Because of their age and size difference, we did keep them separate for most of the time. Abby couldn’t go outside yet either because she didn’t have her shots. So, there was a lot of juggling around for the first few days.

Duke is such a good boy. Very active and very strong. But, unfortunately, he was just TOO strong for my mom and accidentally hurt her a couple of times. It was a hard choice, but my parents decided to return him to the rescue. He was just too big to handle for them. It was really sad because we are not that type of family to do something like that. He was so mellow and sweet at the adoption event that we didn’t realize just how strong he was.

So, that means that Abby will be an only child for the near future.

Change in Energy

The energy in our home is so different after Abby joined the family. It is crazy. It’s even so different from when we had Roky and Bexar. They were both lower energy. Even when they were younger. But Abby? She bounces off the walls. She wakes up and is ready to play in seconds. She is all go and no stop until she passes out. But she is also just the sweetest thing. She has three modes and that is it: asleep, sweet potato, and meth muffin.

Mama’s Girl

Because hubby and I are the primary caretakers, that means that I have become Mama and hubby is Daddy to this little one. And boy is she a Mama’s girl. I feed her, clean her and play with her all day. I am there for cuddles and all of that. And she just is not so happy when I am away. And honestly, this is what I have always wanted with a dog. As much as I loved Roky and how much we went through together, I was not his Mama. I was secondary to him in the grand scheme of things. That is okay. But I love having this dynamic.

A Lot of Healing Happening

Because I am Mama, that means that I have a schedule to keep with this very young pup. I didn’t have to deal with that with the boys. I helped, but I wasn’t primary.

I literally have a reason to get up in the mornings…every single morning. I haven’t had that in a long time. Prior to losing Roky I questioned whether I was depressed or not. Looking back today, I definitely am/was depressed. Having this crazy little pup is helping dig me out of that whole of depression.

With all the ups and downs of infertility and our miscarriage, I have just let myself give up on a lot. If I didn’t have to get out of bed on a certain day, I just didn’t. I was just going through the motions despite talking about putting work in on social media and here on the blog. I really was trying to avoid depression. But once it has a grasp on ya, you just can’t get out of it really easily.

Having Abby to focus on is helping a lot. Honestly, I can see myself losing weight and balancing my hormones more easily now that I have her as well.

Roky absolutely was my first heart dog. But Abby is very much a heart dog for me as well. She has helped save me from myself. And makes me want to be a better person. Now that I am getting out of that fog of depression, I hope that I can be a better wife to my husband and that we can weather this infertility journey better from now on as well.

My mom even told me that she hasn’t seen me this happy in such a long time. That is sad that I have not been my usual self for so long. But, I am glad to see that others are seeing the difference as well.

Not the Only One Healing

We have only had her a few weeks, but we have all had some healing in this time. Her energy alone has helped brighten my parents’ days for sure. My dad has an active buddy around the house that is very entertaining. My mom loves the cuddle bug whenever she finally does settle down as well.

And my husband, who has never had a puppy before, is loving to have a little one who sees him as “Daddy”. He is getting puppy cuddles and playtime for the first time and it is giving him something happy to focus on as well. Abby is helping reduce his stress from work as well and just making life more enjoyable all around.

We went looking for another pup to make their life better and to make our home feel full again. But we weren’t expecting at just how much Abby changed our lives for the better.

Not a Replacement

Again, Abby will never replace any of our pups from the past. She is so different from any of the dogs I have had in the past. But she couldn’t have been a more perfect addition to our family. Not everyone would have moved so fast to adopt again as we did. And that is okay. It is just important to be honest with yourself on whether you are ready or not. Because if you adopt and you aren’t ready, it isn’t fair to the pup.

Abby also will never replace children of our own. She is a very important part of our family, but she is not the same as a child. We are still very committed to having our own children. But, having Abby right now has helped so much in healing from the frustration of infertility and the trauma of the loss of our baby. Adopting a pup might not help everyone like it has for us. That is okay too. But I am so glad that we have been honest to ourselves and did what was right for us.

Now, without further ado, here are some photos of our sweet Abby!