I'm Unapologetically Obsessed With My Dog

Here we go again with another post motivated by Twitter discourse. My feed has been filled with people questioning why Americans, Millennials, women, etc. are obsessed with dogs. I’ve also seen post after post of people proclaiming their disdain for dogs. So, I’m here to talk about my experience and my appreciation of man’s best friend.

Dogs are such an interesting species. They only exist because we domesticated them so many years ago. And then, we bred them for their skills and temperaments. That is why there are so many different breeds. It wasn’t purely from evolution.

Dogs are the only animals in the world that love their owners more than they love themselves. Even strays on the street can instantly connect with anyone who shows them an ounce of kindness. Nine times out of 10, when a dog is aggressive, it is from neglect, abuse, and/or was trained into them and they just want to please their owner.

I am not here to demonize people who dislike dogs. I know there’s people who have had bad experiences with a dog. But I cannot relate to people who dislike the species as a whole. I look at them the same way I look at people who have similar views about children. I will look at you funny and have a hard time understanding your point of view. My dogs have always been a large part of my life. If that is a deal breaker for someone, so be it.

Are People Obsessed?

The latest discussion I saw was that Americans specifically were obsessed with their dogs and how crazy it is. I will be the first to admit that there are some people who take their love and affection of their dogs a little too far. The strollers, luxury beds and bedrooms, purely raw diet, etc. is a bit much. And the people making being a pet parent their entire personality are annoying; especially when they are choosing to have dogs instead of children.

But wanting dog friendly spaces does not make society obsessed with dogs. At least not any more obsessed than the rest of the world. In fact, America is several decades behind Europe when it comes to including Fido in more and more of their activities. When my family was stationed in Germany, we were surprised at how pet friendly everything was. We had a toy poodle at the time. We were able to take him almost everywhere and it made things so much more special.

We took regular trips to Garmisch, a ski town in Germany and our dog absolutely loved it over there. The restaurants would put a pillow up on a seat for him and served him food off of their China. He got so spoiled.

Dogs are treated so well in Korea too. We took our poodle to Korea as well and the locals fawned all over him whenever they saw him. He unfortunately died from a heart condition we didn’t know about. The locals there were just as heartbroken as we were. We had him cremated and they conducted an entire ceremony for him. His ashes were returned to us in a celadon urn and gift wrapped because they viewed him as a gift from God.

After some grieving time, my dad’s Korean assistant insisted on gifting us one of her Maltese puppies. When it was time to have him neutered, the veterinarian actually stayed in the clinic overnight with him and his brothers to make sure they were comfortable. That is unheard of in the states.

So, I don’t think the obsession is unique to Americans.

Not as Responsible

What I do think is unique to Americans and is something that needs to be addressed is that a lot of us aren’t as responsible as we ought to be with our dogs. There are a lot of well-meaning people with breeds they have no business owning. And so many people do not adequately train their pups. So, they are taking dogs out in public that do not know how to behave.

In Germany, you often didn’t even know a party had a dog with them at the restaurant until they were getting up to leave. The dogs around here in the states tug on their leashes, jump on people, bark, you name it.

Then there’s the people who neglect their dogs and create terrible situations for the dogs and other people around them.

This is the conversation we should be having. You want to be able to have dog friendly spaces all over town? Well, then you need to make sure you and your dog are trained to be able to be out in public.

My “Obsession”

I have had a dog in my house since I was 6 years old. My dogs have been there for me when I had no one else. They were also my protector when my dad was deployed. I was an only child at home, so my dogs were my companion for every new place and adventure we went on.

Queenie

Queenie was my first dog. She was a Catahoula mix and we rescued her from the pound in Mississippi when I was 6. My dad was about to go on a year long remote assignment and he finally agreed to let me have a dog to help keep us safe while he was away. She was a wild pup and I was terrified of her for the first couple of weeks.

The house we lived in didn’t have a very good fence around the backyard and our next-door neighbors had a very aggressive rottweiler. One day, while I was playing outside with Queenie, the dog next door broke down the fence and was running right for me. At only 6 months old that dog started to pull me to the house and kept the rottweiler from getting to me. She saved me from that dog.

We did not have her long unfortunately because a neighbor of ours in Missouri had a child with special needs who liked “hunting” for rabbits…with rat poison. Queenie was poisoned because he dropped those pellets in our backyard. By the time we realized what happened, the poison was in her system for too long and she basically lost her mind and had to be humanely euthanized.

We only had her two years, but I learned so many things from her. Even in the end, learning about hard decisions like euthanasia and the loss of a pet.

Max

After Queenie died, my grandmother insisted that we get another dog. That I needed to have a companion with me at all times. That is when my parents got word of a place where we could adopt a puppy. To our horror, we realized from the get go that this place was a puppy mill in the middle of the Ozarks.

That is where we found Max. He was a black full-bred toy poodle. He had papers and everything. But the puppy mill owner said he was worthless to her because he had to be neutered because of how his bits developed. He was in a cage with no solid bottom to it that made his feet spread larger than they should have and he was constantly nipped by the dog under him. We took him home that day. He was about 6 months old at that time.

I grew up with Max. He moved with us 4 times, lived in 3 different states and 2 different overseas assignments. We did everything we could with him. I have so many fond memories of our adventures together. I’ll never forget how the snow would get balled up in his hair when he would go outside to potty. I already talked about how much he was spoiled overseas. It was so great to be able to give him these experiences. And it set a precedent for every dog that will ever follow his legacy.

He got sick really fast my senior year of high school. The vet did an exploratory surgery and found that he had a birth defect in his heart that we didn’t know about. Unfortunately, he died the next day. Years later we are still heartbroken about the fact that he was born in a cage and died in a cage.

Roky

We were stationed in Korea at the time of Max’s death. All the Koreans my dad worked with were devastated at hearing about our loss. They all said that we had a hole in our hearts because of it. My dad’s assistant insisted that we take one of the pups from her dog. That is how Roky joined our family. He is the only dog I’ve had that has not been a rescue…and his attitude proved that.

That little ball of fluff definitely gave us a run for our money. He was an escape artist and just the tiniest little terror. We brought him back to the states to learn that he was so allergic to grass that his entire body would breakout and he was miserable.

Roky was by far the most high maintenance dog we have ever known. But he was cute, so he got away with it.

I experienced a lot of milestones with Roky. He was there when I graduated high school, college, and grad school. He was there when I first started dating my husband and when we got married. He was also there for me during most of our infertility journey, and my miscarriage. He wasn’t the biggest fan of cuddling. But in the days and weeks that followed, he would let me just hold him for as long as I needed.

He was diagnosed with cancer in 2020. He had no symptoms for the longest time, but in this past August, he had lost so much weight and got so tired, that we had to end his suffering. He was with us for over 15 years.

Bexar

We were always concerned about Max being lonely when we did have to leave him home alone. So, we thought it would be best for Roky to have a furry sibling. That is how Bexar joined our family. We adopted him about a year after moving back to Texas. I found him on PetFinder. He had the happiest face I had ever seen and I knew that he was meant to be ours.

When we rescued him, his foster mom said that we would be the third family to have him and he was severely abused by the first two families. His behavior showed that too. He was so scared for the first few weeks we had him. And even almost a decade later he would cower whenever anyone raised their hand to reach for something.

It took a lot of time to break him out of his shell. But we managed to do it. He was the sweetest boy. Everyone fell in love with him as soon as they met him. He was a total polar opposite to Roky.

He and Roky had a strange relationship. Roky never wanted to play with him. But Bexar tried all the time. Despite not playing together, they had a connection. If we took one out of the house without the other, they both would stress until they were together again. Roky would always check Bexar’s ears and eyes after they have been separated. They loved each other, just in their own way.

Bexar started to get really chunky as he got older. He always seemed to be hungry too. We eventually found out that he had Cushing’s. It took a lot of tests to diagnose him and almost a year to get his meds figured out. The specialist that worked with us said that most families would have euthanized after the diagnosis because of how expensive the medications were. We just couldn’t do that to him. He still had so much life left in him. And as long as my parents were able to afford his meds, they were willing to pay for them.

Towards the end, he was struggling with heart failure, an unfortunate side effect of Cushing’s. We knew it would happen eventually. There was nothing we could do anymore to help him. We took him in to the vet one day to see if he needed a diuretic or something to help with is breathing. But the vet said that she in good conscience let us take him home. He was suffering too much. We put him to sleep that day. But not before my husband and dad got to the clinic with Roky.

We all said our good-byes and ended his suffering. We feel guilty for not doing it sooner because he was struggling so much. I had never witnessed anyone or anything die before that day. So, it was traumatic on a couple of levels.

He was such a good dog. We had him almost 13 years. We adopted him after Roky. But he passed almost a year before Roky did.

Abby

So, I will admit that my level of “obsession” with Abby is above and beyond any other dog I have had in my life. First, it is because this go around, I am “Mama” when I was “Sissy” to all the others. She is MY dog. She is my shadow, my Velcro puppy. But also, this puppy has been helping me grieve and climb out of that pit of despair. I lost a baby and had to take part in euthanizing both of my dogs in 12 calendar months. There was a lot of trauma, grief, and healing that has had to happen.

We adopted Abby about two weeks after Roky passed. It wasn’t completely in the plans. But, what do you expect when you drive an hour away to an adoption event? Also, she picked us. I walked to the crate where she was with her siblings and asked if any of them were available still. The volunteer said they were already on hold for adoption. So, I moved on. About 10 minutes later my mom goes by and asks the same thing but the volunteer said that one was available and asked if she wanted to hold her. Mom took her and Abby was instantly cuddling with her. I went over to see what was going on because I was told she was adopted already. Mom said she was available and handed her to me. That tiny little pup tucked her head into my neck and I lost it. I knew we had to go home with her.

The volunteer asked if we wanted to put her down so we could fill out the paperwork and that absolutely did not happen. My husband held her for the next 2 hours while we were waiting to get everything lined up to adopt, set up shots, and her spay. We did not want to take the chance of someone getting her away from us. Several people asked if she was available and my husband was short of yelling “BACK OFF” to a couple that didn’t get the hint.

About a month after we adopted Abby was what was supposed to be the due date of our angel baby. I have no idea what I would have done if I didn’t have a puppy to take care of during that time. I shudder to think about where I would have been and where I would be today if it weren’t for Abby.

We trained all the dogs before her, but not in an official setting. She was the first pup to go to actual training courses with a certified trainer. She is better trained than any of the dogs before her. She is even a Certified Good Citizen by the AKC. We will do the same for any future dogs as well.

Abby has an Instagram account as well. This is all part of the healing process and helps me get through this infertility journey without completely losing my mind. I am obsessed with this dog and I don’t care what anyone has to say about it.

Lessons Learned

There are so many lessons people can learn by having dogs in their lives. You are responsible for this creature and everything that happens to them for their entire lives…even when they have to say goodbye sometimes. That is probably one of the hardest things in life to do. But these furballs trust us to do what is best for them.

They also teach us how to love unconditionally. They can teach patience, forgiveness and understanding as well.

This is why I believe it is so important for children to grow up around dogs. There is so much that can be learned by being around them.

The Lord knows that Abby has been giving me a master class on patience lately.

Not a Replacement

To say all of this is not the same as saying that dogs are replacements for children. This isn’t true. Dogs will never be the same as children. Anyone who says otherwise are lying to themselves.

My dogs have been and always will be members of the family. I call them my babies because their intelligence will only ever be equal to that of a toddler. So, mentally, they are forever babies. But, I understand that they are not a replacement for babies.

I know that there are some fringe people out there who believe that, but I really hate that I have to point this out any time I talk about my love and relationships with my dogs.

Conclusion

And finally, to just really get people’s panties in a bunch, I love MY dogs more than I do most people. And honestly, that shouldn’t be controversial. I love me and mine before other people. It is that simple. I will absolutely rescue by dog before a stranger. Again, that is because my priority is me and mine before others. It is what it is.

People can say I’m obsessed and that is fine. But what I will not stand for is people lumping me in with those who choose to not have children and live as perpetual teenagers with dogs they spoil and never train properly.

The discussion needs to be on responsibly caring for and training dogs rather than being worried about whether people are obsessed with dogs.

As Christians, we were given the responsibility to be good stewards of this planet. So, if you are called to work with and rescue dogs, then you are doing what God wants. Again, we created these domesticated animals. We owe them happy and healthy lives.

And quite honestly, with the hoarding, neglect, abuse, and overrun shelters and pounds, we are failing them tremendously. Maybe if we were more “obsessed” with dogs, these bad things wouldn’t happen to them.