Can We Stop the Gatekeeping Please?
There has been a lot of talk on Twitter lately about boycotts and pride month and so on. Something I have been noticing is a lot of people who agree on the topics are going after each other for, in my opinion, foolish reasons.
I’ve seen numerous statements from prideful Christians and conservatives that argue that people who didn’t boycott Target or other brands aren’t really upset about the choices the companies have made. Or, if it took this year’s pride event to make someone boycott, then they really weren’t paying attention and are only doing so now because it is popular.
There’s some people out there where Target is the easiest place for them to shop. But they are just as disgusted by the products being pushed in the stores. But I’ve seen them be dragged on social media for admitting that they don’t have very many options and they have to use Target.
This whole scenario has made me more aware of these accusations in other parts of our lives. And it’s interesting that pride month brought all of this to light. This gatekeeping comes from either a place of pride or from a lack of confidence. They are either seeking validation from others or are trying to place themselves above others for one reason or another.
Can we just be happy that more people are starting to take action against things they disagree with?
Gatekeep
verb
To limit (sometimes manipulatively, rather than directly) how much role another party, often a spouse, has in some task; for example, to limit how much one's husband can raise one's children.
To control or limit access to something.
Gatekeeping Christianity
Along with the debates about who is a true conservative, I’m seeing it more and more when it comes to faith and Christianity. This isn’t the usual debate on which sect is the correct one. No, these are statements from individuals who think they are the perfect example of a Christian telling the world what disqualifies others. None of it is Biblically rooted and it does nothing but cause division.
The most recent is people arguing that a person cannot truly be saved if they have tattoos. But they completely forget the fact that a lot of people came to Jesus later in life. Not everyone had easy lives that brought them to Christ from birth. Many have a lot of twists and turns.
There are hundreds of reasons why someone would declare another disqualified. But it honestly all comes from a point of pride and these people need self-reflection.
Gatekeeping Parenthood
In my corner of Twitter, most of the accounts are owned by mothers. That is the niche I have found myself in. And most of the time, I really love it. But there are sometimes where I see things from people I don’t follow or associate with very much who can’t help but gatekeep parenthood. Meaning, they will instantly discredit any mother with only one child because in their eyes, they aren’t really a mother…or at the very least not on the same level as they are for having 3 or 4.
Then there’s the mom’s who have older children who tell new mothers they have no idea what they are doing what they have gotten themselves into. And because they have older children, they are more of a mother than the new moms.
Instead of being there to support one another, it has turned into a competition. This is where social media gets really nasty and I am not here for it at all.
I have no living children yet. So, there are a plethora of women who wouldn’t give me the light of day when seeking advice. The fact that I studied childhood development for the better part of a decade means nothing to them.
It’s one of those situations where it’s best to just learn when to keep scrolling. But, we see you and the hurt you are causing on others.
Gatekeeping Trauma
There is an ongoing trend with gatekeeping in my opinion. And that is it is nothing more than a competition. I see it a lot when talking about trauma as well.
When I shared the news of my miscarriage on social media, a vast majority of the responses I got were supportive and comforting. Lots of women were sharing their stories as well to offer hope. But there was one or two who had to make it a competition. That because I didn’t need any medication or surgery to get through it all, it wasn’t that big of a deal.
Everyone will go through some kind of trauma in their lives. Some people will experience more than others. But just because one person went through a worse situation, it doesn’t make my experience any less traumatic.
Gatekeeping Clean Living.
When it comes to clean living and becoming crunchy, I have to be very careful in how I talk with people. My intention is to never ever sound superior to others for making different choices. But, sometimes, I am sure that is how it can come across on social media.
Deciding to avoid toxins, seed oils, EMFs, etc. is very overwhelming and is a long process. We have made a lot of changes in our home and much better off for it for sure. But, even with everything we have done, I am still so overwhelmed with information I come across about what more we could be doing.
Not everyone can afford all organic, or whatever the latest thing is. So, they do what they can. But there are people out there looking down on others who don’s sheer their own sheep, card and spin the wool for socks. Like, not all of us have the time, resources nor skills to do that. If you do that, great. But if you do, how do you have time to be on Twitter to be mean to those who don’t?
It’s Everywhere
I could go on for days about this. It is everywhere. If there is an expert somewhere, they will do everything they can to maintain that status and tear down anyone who disagrees or could have similar credentials. It is a state of competition that I want no part of.
I’ve been working for years to live more cleanly. I also advocate for mental health, homemaking, Christianity and several other issues. When someone comes to me for advice I am happy to help.
We need to have arms open for those around us who want to take part in the things we are passionate about. We joyfully welcome them rather than rag on them for taking so long to get to the same place you are.
When others see you interacting joyfully, they may be more inclined to want to join as well. There are always people watching and we want to be the best example we can be...not only for Jesus, but for any cause we are passionate about.